Survival Tips for Monster Attacks

So you’ve seen the biggest movie of January, Cloverfield.

Were you annoyed by the forced handycam view of things? Did you hate the short screentime of the Cloverfield monster itself? Did you love the fact that it toyed with your paranoid delusions, given the environment we live in right now?

If skyscrapers and buildings fall like forks trying to stand, then yeah, I got scared.

So I wondered, if a Cloverfield-monster-like thing DID attack us, where would we all be safe? What should we do or not do?

* Don’t go off on a doomed quest in the first place. Protagonists have this delusion that they WILL make that difference. And they do! They do! But what of Cloverfield? It pokes fun at the little things we do in real life, so how different would real people react to a real-life attack? Disobeying the army? Pshhhh … they have guns!

* Stay in an orphanage. Okay, so I know in good taste that the slaughter of children was specifically avoided in the film. (Tell me, did you see any children?) This leaves me to assume that, the Cloverfield monster is really friendly only to children.

* DO tape-over videos with the ex. (or not ex) We’re all doomed anyway. Who gets a medal for being nice, when you could be in a beach far, far away when a monster starts eating up your city?

~ by thebiglife on February 7, 2008.